Overcoming Fear of Spirituality

Overcoming Fear of Spirituality

From a Past Life Regression

By Helene Rothschild

(Excerpt from the tape, CD MP3 files, book and e-book, Past Lives-Present Decisions)

When I was sixteen years old I started to read books on Eastern philosophy. I felt very spiritual. By the time I was twenty years old I had a ponytail and beard. People teased me and said that I looked just like Jesus Christ. When I was twenty-four years old I became aware of a terrible fear arising in me of turning thirty-three. It took me awhile to realize that the reason I was so scared was because I was convinced that when I reached thirty-three, I would become Jesus. There was no way I wanted that to happen. That would be too much responsibility, and I definitely didn’t want to be crucified!

From that day on I cut myself off from my spirituality. I shifted from being a spiritual hippie to being an upper-middle-class, white-shirt-and-tie executive in a billion-dollar corporation. I cut off my ponytail and I attracted a nice, stable, and appropriate wife into my life. I put most of my energy into my career and family. I became the all-American man with a big house and two cars in the driveway. From the outside I looked very successful. But internally I felt out of balance and unhappy. My stress level was incredibly high. Fortunately my beautiful little daughter helped me to relax a little. It’s uncanny how children can remind you how to play and just be.

To make a long story short, I had many problems that culminated in a divorce. My massage therapist suggested that I resolve some issues in therapy, and referred me to Helene Rothschild. Desperate, I called for my first appointment. I immediately began to work on my self-esteem and to my amazement, my stress level reduced immensely.

One day Helene asked me to close my eyes and to see an image of my four parts (mind, body, emotions, and spirit), and to check out whether I was in balance. The image of my mind was a very healthy-looking brain. My body looked fine, as swimming three to five miles a week was keeping me in good shape. My emotions looked like those of a scared little child. I knew that I had to express my feelings more, especially my fears. Then Helene, said, “Sal, see an image of your spiritual part.” I didn’t see anything.

Helene suggested that I open up to my spiritual part so that I could be balanced and reach new levels of aliveness and success. Shortly after that I started to attend Sunday services at the Church of Religious Science. I liked what they were teaching, and it felt good to me. But I also felt scared. Being a logical person, that didn’t make sense to me at all.

At my next counseling session, I told Helene about my fears. She asked me to close my eyes and go back to the time I had made a decision about my spirituality. Immediately my eyes began to flutter uncontrollably. Then she guided me into a movie theater where I was sitting in the back row with someone I trusted. I felt more detached and safer. My eyes began to relax. As the projector rolled, I saw an image on the screen of a desert somewhere in the Middle East. I was wearing an old, dirty, long gray and white striped robe which also covered my head. I was journeying barefoot, and lived in poverty in a quest for spirituality.

Then I saw myself looking through the window of a house made out of mud. The family inside looked happy and I was envious of their life. I then decided that if being spiritual meant living a life of drudgery and being all alone with no family or home, I didn’t want any part of it.

To change the decision I saw myself as a decently dressed Arab living happily with my wife and children in our comfortable home. I was also a very spiritual person. Then I visualized myself in my present lifetime, having all that I want and being spiritual at the same time. I felt a tremendous sense of relief. When I opened my eyes I told Helene that I now understood why I was afraid to follow a spiritual path. Buried in my unconscious was the belief that I would have to be a poor, lonely nomad, and would have to give up all my material things as well as my family and lovers. That was certainly reason enough to be scared of spirituality and to want to bury that part of me.

Since the past-life experience, I have returned to the loving Church of Religious Science and now attend regularly. I enjoy the people and the philosophy. The positive reinforcement of my Godliness that I receive helps me grow as a spiritual and emotional being.

I’m thirty-three years old and I feel that I am the Christ, as I thought I would be long ago, but it’s different now. I have learned to focus on His resurrection rather than His Crucifixion, which was all part of the divine plan. Now I understand that Christ is my proof that I can be 100% conscious of my Godhood in this life. As I become more conscious, I take on more of His attributes—unconditional love and healing power. He is an example that I can understand. Like Him, I can create anything in my life. I’m on my spiritual path and I now have an abundance of love, joy, and prosperity.